McMillan

=Chain of Fools= "[|Release Me]", Agnes

In the beginning, there was love and promises. The night long love sessions were nothing less than passionate. The conversations were rich with happiness. It couldn’t get any better. It, was simply. Bliss.

Janice woke to the vibrate of her phone. //3:00.// It’s keys were imprinted on the soft, fair skin of her forearm. It was dark blue, just like her right eye. She snatched the phone up with a grunt and hit “dismiss” on the screen. She propped her body up on her left arm. Her long brown hair touched the sheets and danced around while she got situated. //Oh no. I can’t do this.// One glance at Kess, (his soft face and jagged chin) across the bed, and she knew she had to. Today was the day she was leaving. She didn’t know where, but she was getting away from Kess.

She pulled the covers off of her long legs, and sat up. The bathroom was right in front of her, the window was to her right and the door, was across the room. Three options, but the best one seemed unfeasible. Her pondering turned into worry. She knew she had to move fast or she wouldn’t at all. Janice stood up and tip-toed across the room. She stopped in front of the cracked mirror and saw her face. She was pretty. Her lips and nose were perfectly placed on her acne free skin. (Although, you couldn’t tell her this) Her hair was made to stay out of her face, but she changed that in worry that people would see Kess’ true colors. She dressed for winter, even though it was summer, to hide her arms and legs. They were pretty too. That’s what Greg said as he raped her in his car. She'd had no way out, the doors were locked, the windows rolled up. Her screams were smothered by Aretha Franklin’s voice blaring from the speakers. Greg put her arms around his neck to ensure she loved him too. It was all a game until she said no. //If only I said yes, maybe I would have had time to run.//

She deters her vision and looks towards the door. She takes another step. “You goin’ to the bathroom?” It’s Kess’ croaky voice. “Cough, cough, I’m going to get some water” She lies.

Janice walks freely now, out of the door and down the hall. She is parallel with the bare white wall, where pictures of family and Godly quotes should be. The kitchen is lit with the oven light. It smells of cheeseburgers from various fast food restaurants. She opens the cabinet to find her and Kess’ wedding glasses. In hers is a ring, the same size as the one she wore on her left hand. She picks it up slowly as her throat begins to swell and sting. Crash!!! She hits it on the ceramic counter and falls to the ground. Not long after Kess comes running. “What the hell Janice?!” yells Kess.

“I can’t do this anymore Kess! I want out!”

“Out of what? You’re not goin’ anywhere girl.” It’s scary because he says it so calm and unaffected. Janice gets her self up off of the floor, but not after weighing her options. Kess was in his mood again. He wasn’t going to hit her. Not now. He was crying. “I’m sorry I can’t be the rich man you wanted. Your family hates the fact that I can’t give you what you want!” Before he has a chance to say anything else Janice walks past him. She can’t be affected by him anymore. No more. Kess was sick. He was delusional, and abusive, and couldn’t hold down a job. “HEY!, where are you going?”

“Out.” Janice responds.

“No, no you’re not, you’re gonna stay here with me right? You gotta stay with me Janice. Now… now you tell me where you’re goin’.” Janice contains herself by walking towards the front door. There is nothing to say. When she leaves Kess, he will eventually come looking for her, because he’ll be with out money. Eventually, Kess will be evicted from the small trash they call a home, and end up homeless. He’ll have no one to care for him. “Janice! You get back here now! You can’t leave me. You can’t leave me Janice!” he yells coming behind her. He reaches her and grabs her by her arm.

“Stop it Kess. Stop it!” He’s tugging at her shirt and pants. She’s had this feeling many times before. She was so fragile and self conscious. “Kess, please stop. Not now. Stop!” She yells. He doesn’t, her shirt is ripping and he’s pulling her to the floor. Janice fights back tears as he pulls the remains of her shirt off. It doesn’t have to be this way. She saw the signs and she was always going to be there for him. But that was then. The sound track in her mind plays slow meaningful songs that make you want to believe this is enjoyable, but this is different. Kess stops the harassment and cries into her chest. His heavy, hot breath covers her heartbeat.

“Why do you want to leave me Janice? I love you.” Silence. His tears are smeared on her chest. //Damn, I was so close.// She’s trapped now, she can’t leave him like this. It’s to hard. Kess looks her in the eye. “Just go. Go Janice! Get out of here. I don’t want to hurt you no more! Go!” He yells. Kess gets up from beside her, to let her open the door. Janice feels the crisp summer air on her face and arms. She takes a step out of the mobile home and looks back only to have the door slam in her face. Janice stood still, taking everything in. This was different from all the other times. Was this the last time she would she Kess? It was the next step that she felt free. Beyond the only place she had grown to know was a world of possibilities.

Janice woke to the vibrate of her phone and thanked God. She rolled over and kissed her husband on the forehead and whispered “Good Morning sunshine.”