Jessie+Mac



I believe in the sudden rush of feeling amazing. It wasn’t the first time hearing someone say that about me, but with him it was different. This was the first time in my adolescent life that someone I enjoyed, enjoyed me as well. When I was younger, I was left in the cold holding broken pieces of my heart in my unfolding hand. The pieces would drop to the ground and I would let them. There was no need for them anymore. I blocked out any other need for the other sex. Time would come where I would encounter a situation where I would have power of the cards, and do what was done to me. I can’t help but to feel pride knowing that I don’t need that type of attention. What upsets me though, is the fact that when I want it, no one takes it to that dimension with me. I believe in finding like, at the last possible minute. We met after the two months I started going to physical therapy for my knee. He was always there. I, being my self paid little attention if any to him. All he got was a smile, and I kept it moving. In the stress of failing a class, I asked the people that direct my sessions their opinion. Only then did Ryan’s name come up. I asked him the genuine question as well and he took my attention and ran with it. It took me two weeks to realize I had let someone in. With a sixteenth birthday coming up, I hadn’t even experienced my first kiss. I knew nothing about this game, and didn’t care. All I needed was my Daddy, and I didn’t care. Ryan came in and turned my world to an angle even I couldn’t enter. My phone stays with me and not buried in my purse. My confidence has spiked. We can talk about anything and he makes me feel brand new. I don’t know exactly where this will lead, I’m precautious. My heart is jittery, but I know I have to let go sometime. I guess now is the best time. Thanks Dude.